Why So Serious? Smile For Me!
by VampbaitInfinity
Summary: The joker has got her and he isn't gonna let her go. What will this nameless wretch have to endure to save her life? JokerxOC It wouldn't be a good joker story without lemons now would it?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's P.O.V.**

Gotham City was under seize again, The Joker taking over easily after defeating-and nearly killing, The Bat.

**Joker's P.O.V.**

As effortless as it was, the only thing that made this victory sweeter was the fact that ole' Batsy had actually begged me to spare his worthless life! It was an absolute scream! In the end, though, that old fart, Alfred had come to his rescue and saved him from the brink of death. This fact however didn't stop my plan;on the contrary actually! It would just be all the more fun to re break Batsy's neck later on with my bare hands. I flexed my gloved fingers, hardly bothered by the dried blood stains as I gripped the wheel firmly, opening the sunroof to let out the cigar and marijuana smoke that began to fog the windsheild of my get-away van. I swerved like the mad man I am, laughing maniaclly as I cut through the dingey back roads of Gotham. I checked my wrist watch-twenty minutes till midnight and the grand finale had yet to come. I checked my mirrors and tried not to stare at my largest henchmen, Tiny, as he felt up a blow-up doll, ironically stolen from the same store that "sold" the latest high tech weaponry. According to the GPS that I had just liberated, the hideout was just upahead.

'No shit.', I thought, already excited about my newest project.

A flash ofwhite caught my eye in my rear mirror. I wondered at what it could have possibly been, making an abrupt U-Turn that sent Tiny sprawling into the other henchmen.

'Curiousity killed the cat', I thought, licking my lips as I felt my permanent smile widen,'So run, run little kitty-cat!'

The van flew down the ally and I continued to cackle, spotting the flash of white again dashing around a corner. I threw the wheel to the left and, using the break as a a spring board, jumped up through the sunroom and landed swiftly infront of the mystery that caught my eye.

My eyes widened at the sight before me, not at all what I expected-but better!

"Well hello there little kitty. What are you doing out so late?",the clown prince purred, shaking a long, gloved finger at what turned out to be a young girl. He took in her childlike facial features; her heartshaped face and rounded cheeks, almond eyes wide, full and pink lips parted in surprise. Her ebony locks came down to just about the top of her back, the full rear of her hair of silver and another silver dash about her bangs. This all gave her a cute apearance, but by glancing down it was very clear that she was anything but a child.

She did not respond to me, the shock of seeing someone so bizzare creasing her brow. I grew impatient and swiftly grabbed her shirt front to regain her attention on my question, this was a bit difficult to do,however, with how snuggly the dress front fit against her chest.

"I believe it is common courtesy to give an explination when one is trespassing on another persons property. Im all ears!",my voice dropped a few octaves as I giggled in delight at her the sight of her heart thumping against the skin of her chest.

The girl remained quiet for a moment longer, appraising the situation before her I would assume. She looked me up and down a couple of times, her frown deepening when I licked my lips.

"I'm just passing through. Let me go.", she finally said.

I grinned,I'd gotten an answer out of the of her. She recoiled a bit at my sudden grin but did not scream or try to fight me.

'This girl's got guts.'

"And why should I let you go? How do I know you wont try and stab me in the back as I walk away? You must me a little sore at me for holding you up like this?", I barely held back my cackles at her unimpressed expression from my bad pun.

"I dont have a knife, a gun, or any combat training. I think you're safe.", she said, looking a bit bored and light headed.

"Hmph! I believe you.", I concluded with mock disinterest, abruptly dropping her onto the damp pavement. She fell with a thump and cursed heinously. I was surprised to-say the least. Maybe...

'Good idea.'

As she stood up and brushed off the skirt of her dress, she finally took her eyes away from me long enough for me to reach into my coat pocket.

"Oh, and one more thing.", I said in a sing-song voice. Her head snapped up just long enough to see the bottle of knock out gas in my grasp."Smile!"

'Good shot.'

"Thanks!", I beamed, catching my prize before her head made contact with the pavement. I threw her limp body over my shoulder and strode back to the van, whistling merilly as explosions sounded in the distance.

I opened the door and set her down on the floor next to the driver's seat. I securely bound her limbs with tape and binded her to a set of clamps apon the floor- A sort of makeshift seat belt.

'Aw, how sweet!', my inner voice cooed.

"Shut the hell up.", I muttered, sounding bored rather than malicious.

"Watcha got there boss?", my largest minion bellowed from the rear of the van.

"Don't ask.", I said, more of a threat than a nonchalant offer.

"Puddin', who's this girl?", Harley screached in my ear from the passanger seat.

"_Don't ask_.", I said with more emphasis.

The finality in my voice closed the discussion and I was able to think of a plan. And oh! What a plan it would be!


	2. Chapter 2

**Day 1**

_I couldn't stop looking, I swore to myself that I wouldn't. There just had to be a way out! Some sort of escape. _

_But what could one do with her limbs bound at the wrists and ankles, her mouth taped shut, and only her eyes able to swivel about the darkness. _

_I blamed them, those horrible people that brought me here, the almost as bad people that I'd come across in my life. I blamed those sniveling idiots that invented the damned machined ticking religiously off to y right. I blamed whoever put this damned restraint about my neck, keeping me from from turning all the way around. _

_But most of all, I blamed myself for allowing myself to speak with that insufferable maniac-how could I have been so foolish?!_

_And as if by mockery or some type of twisted joke at my expense, they left a book of matches, a candle, and a notebook and pen next to me in such a proximity that I'd not be able to miss it._

_And with my own burning defiance, I struck a match, lit the candle, burnt through my restraints and am now writing down these accounts._

_Yes, I am still looking for an exit to what appears to be an enormous cell, of sorts. I have already crawled along the surprisingly sterile floor, searching for just about any kind of indications. But there are no doors, no windows, not a crack in the the cold walls nor a hole in the darkness._

_There is only me and this beeping._

_I'll kill that clown._


	3. Chapter 3

**Day 2**

_They brought me a blanket today. About damn time! It's cold as fuck in here! _

_I don't know if they have some kind of plan for me, or if I'm just here as some sort of sick joke._

_They're trying to make me crack._

_I often wonder why they haven't just killed me already. Another mouth to feed seems like an unwanted deterrence to someone who is constantly on the run from the Bat._

_But maybe I'm wrong. _

_And if I'm wrong, I don't want to fucking know why else I might be here._

_I can hear laughing on the other room, sometimes._

_Men's laughter._

_I hope they aren't laughing at me._

_What ever happened to that woman who was talking to Joker? Did she get captured too?_

_Somehow, I doubt that. _

_I really want something to eat, but I'm more than skeptical when it comes to eating ANYTHING that they give me here._

_It's the fucking Joker, not summer camp!_

_I'd probably be dead and choking on my own bile in minutes..._

_But I can smell Mexican food in the other room, my favorite._

_Why did I have to get captured the day before they served food at the local shelters for a charity event?!_

_I sometimes hear giggling outside of my room, coming from some direction._

_I know it's HIM. Who else laughs like that?_

_But I always turn my back to it and pretend that I don't care._

_I wish I had someplace to go home to, right about now._


End file.
